French Silk Pie

I’m putting in a little bonus at the end that you can be use to adorn any number of chocolate desserts, including my own Chocolate Sheet Cake, which is 100% safe for everyone! So skip forward to that point while the rest of us raw egg freakos make the pie.



The Cast of Characters: One baked pie shell (I used Perfect Pie Crust), Butter, Sugar, Vanilla, Eggs, and Unsweetened Baking Chocolate (I used Hershey’s, but anything is fine. If you’re interested in my baking chocolate taste test, visit this post on Serious Eats.)



My girls helped me make this pie crust, I put a piece of aluminum foil in the bottom and filled it with dried pinto beans to keep it fron shrinking while it baked. I also wrapped foil around the edge (my girls did that, too, the little boogers) to keep it from burning.



Break up four ounces of chocolate…



And place it in a microwave-safe bowl. Nuke it for about 45 seconds, or until stirrable. Set aside and cool.



Now throw two sticks of softened butter (regular, salted) into the bowl of your mixer. A mixer is essential here.



Dump in 1 1/2 cups sugar.



Mix until fluffy, about 1 to 1 1/2 minutes.



Make sure your chocolate is cooled…



And drizzle it into the bowl.



Now find your vanilla. Then, as I just did, wipe the fingerprints and batter smudges from the bottle so your readers won’t think you’re a total slob.



Then, add 1 teaspoon to the bowl.
I think vanilla extract should be sainted. From pancakes to icing to pie, its contribution can not be underestimated.



Mix it together thoroughly, and now it’s time to get serious, people. I need you to straighten in your chairs and listen. Read. Whatever.



You’re going to turn the mixer on medium speed (on a Kitchen Aid, I use 7), and over a period of 15 to 20 minutes, you’re going to add in four eggs. After you add each egg, allow the mixture to beat for four to five minutes. And don’t rush it. Just let it happen, people.



Here, I’ve added the first egg. This is four minutes later.



Here, I’ve added the second egg. This is five minutes after that addition.



Now, during the twenty-odd minutes of mixing in the four eggs, the mixture’s consistency will change constantly. Don’t read into it, and don’t suddenly become plagued with a raging case of self doubt. If you give each egg at least four to five minutes, it’ll turn out right.



For the love of Our Lady of Perpetual Bliss, will you take a dadgum look that THAT? THAT is what you call chocolate pie filling.



Oh! That reminds me! We now must FILL our PIE.



Oh, lawsie mercy. Lawsie. Mercy.



Hello, my beautiful lover. Why have you stayed away from me for so long?



Now, just smooth out the surface every so slightly…



And because you don’t like to waste perfectly good chocolate pie filling…



You need to go ahead and lick it, baby.
Okay! Now you need to cover and refrigerate the pie for at least two hours. More is better. And before we cut into it an eat it, which you’re certainly free to do at any time after the two hours, let’s try something fun.
*Non raw-eggers can come in now.



Have you ever made chocolate curls? NO?????????? Oh, okay. That’s cool.
But let’s make them right now. They’re fun, they’re easy, they’re fanciful…yada yada yada, who am I kidding? They make you look reeeeeal coooool, is what they do.



Grab some Crisco and some semi-sweet baking chocolate. (Any brand will do, and you can even use semi-sweet chocolate chips if you’d like!)



Place three ounces (usually three squares) of chocolate into a microwave-safe bowl.



Now place one tablespoon of Crisco (vegetable shortening) into the bowl.



Now throw it in the microwave for 30 to 45 seconds, or until the shortening is melted and hot.



With a fork…



Stir to combine thoroughly.



And there you have it—chocolate curls!
Just kidding. I just love doing that, though.



Now, grab a metal cookie sheet, turn it upside down, and pour the melted chocolate on.



Then, with a flat spatula (or heck, a knife), spread the chocolate in a thin layer…



Keep going until it’s very, very thin. Then…and this is the key…stick it in the freezer for a few minutes.



Now, this is after one minute in the freezer. I gave the chocolate the ol’ fingerprint test, and it failed miserably. It’s still way too soft to make the curls. So I put it back in for exactly two minutes.



Be sure to give it the ol’ fingerprint test. And when it’s ready, it should leave the slightest mark, but not an actual depression.
Next, get a somewhat sharp-edged spatula and begin to scrape the chocolate from the bottom of the pan. When the chocolate is just the right temperature, it’ll curl instead of break.



See, right now it’s still just a tad too cold/hard. So I waited one minute and tried again.



And guess what? It’s just right.



Now you have a couple of minutes before the chocolate gets too soft.



So just scrape along the bottom of the pan…



…And the chocolate will curl right up. If it’s too hard, give it a minute, then try again. If it gets too soft, stick it back in the freezer for a minute.



Pretty soon you’ll have a bunch of fun little chocolate curls.



And I have no idea how this one happened, but I think it’s kinda neat. And I totally meant to do it.
Important: as soon as possible, transfer the curls to a cold pan or plate, then stick them in the freezer to harden. Store in the freezer in a Ziploc bag until you need them.
Now it’s time to retrive the chocolate pie that’s been chilling in the fridge.



Now WAIT a minute! This isn’t what it looked like earlier. I have no idea how this happened, either.



Cut yourself a piece of pie and plop some whipped cream on top.



Now start decorating it with chocolate curls.



I thought the big one was a little distracting, so I went ahead and ate it.
Hey, it’s for the art.



Now, the chocolate curls are fun and all, but let’s not forget what lies at the heart of this chocolate pie. It’s the chocolate pie itself.



And baby, let me tell you. This is one chocolate experience you’re not likely to forget.

Prep Time: 30 Minutes

Cook Time:

Difficulty: Easy

Servings: 8

Ingredients

• 4 ounces, weight Unsweetened Baking Chocolate
• 1 cup Salted Butter, Softened
• 1-1/2 cup Sugar
• 1 teaspoon Vanilla Extract
• 4 whole Eggs
• 1 package Baked Pie Shell

Preparation Instructions

In small microwave safe bowl melt 4 ounces of unsweetened baking chocolate until stirrable (about 45 seconds on high). Set aside to cool.
In a large bowl with an electric mixer beat 1 cup (2 sticks) of regular (salted) butter and 1 ½ cups of white sugar until fluffy (about 1 to 2 minutes). When melted chocolate is cooled, drizzle it over the butter/sugar mixture. Add 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract. Beat the mixture thoroughly until combined (on a Kitchen Aid mixer, you will be using the whisk attachment).
Turn your mixer to a medium speed and over a period of 15 to 20 minutes add in the four eggs, one at a time, leaving about 5 minutes between each egg addition. Once the pie filling is well mixed, pour it into the baked pie shell, scraping every last speck of it out of the bowl. Smooth out the pie filling and place pie in the refrigerator to chill for at least two hours (preferably longer).
Plop a heap of whipped cream and garnish with a few chocolate curls if you’re feeling sassy.

http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2008/02/the_meal_of_love_part_iv_de-licious_chocolate_pie/